Husband & Wife - Why divorce?

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: 'Your honor, I want to
divorce my husband.'
'But why?' asked the judge.
She replied, 'Because he is not faithful to me.'
The judge asked, 'How do you know?'
She replied, 'My lord, not a single child resembles him.'

Husband &Wife - Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, 'One month after
I die I want you to marry Samy.'
'Samy! But he is your enemy!'
'Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now.'

Husband &Wife - Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
The other replied, 'Yes I am, I married the wrong man.'

Husband &Wife - Why?

'Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home
that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's
arms. Why, Dad? Tell me why!'
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, 'Maybe, Son, she
didn't get the fax.'

Husband &Wife - Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, 'When we were first
married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers
and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking.'
'Why complain?' said the counselor. 'You're still getting the same
service!'

Husband &Wife - Talk About Husband

One woman told another: 'My neighbor is always speaking ill of her husband,
but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever
said anything bad about him?'

Husband &Wife - Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her
every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'
'I would love to.' Replied the husband. 'But I don't know her well enough.'

Husband &Wife - No Answer Back

A man was telling his friends, 'When my wife is infuriated, shestarts
shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer
her.'
One of his friends asked.' And when you are angry, what do you do?'
The man replied, 'I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the
house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband &Wife - Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home
late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
'Take my advice,' said the neighbor, 'and do what I did. Once my husband
came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out:
'Is that you, Jim?' And that cured him.
'Cured him !' asked the woman, 'but how?'
The neighbor said, 'You see, his name is Bill.'

Husband &Wife - Problem Father

'You looked troubled,' I told my friend, 'what's your problem?'
He replied, 'I'm going to be a father.'
'But that's wonderful,' I said.
'What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

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